Reminders of the Heart
by Xardion
Summary: After the death of Darth Vader and the fall of the Empire, Anakin visits his beloved's grave. Oneshot. Please R


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or the characters within.

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_**Reminders of the Heart**_

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Naboo… A planet that had hardly changedin a thousandyears, it was one of the few worlds that could be seen as a paradise. Outside the city of Theed was the resting-place of the honored dead. Centered in among them was a small mausoleum holding with it silver cylinder coffin, the resting-place of Padme Amidala.

To those who knew the history, she was one of the former queens of the planet and the youngest by far. She would later resign her position to become a senator of her planet we she would continue to serve her people until her untimely death, while pregnant with child and to which the father was unknown.

To those who knew her, she was a brave queen, a skilled diplomat, and on occasion, a warrior. She always sought peace through diplomacy and firmly believed in her ideas as the best way for the entire Republic.

But to only one person, she would be an angel. The young woman that he fell in love with since the moment they met. She, whose smile would bring joy to his heart and whose tear would bring equal pain. A woman who he would literally change the universe for. A wife who bore him two special children on the eve of her life.

"_Padme…"_

The said person materialized within the structure of the mausoleum, ghastly, but human in form. Long hair partly covered his saddened eyes and he looked upon the coffin. He moved toward the coffin slowly and reached at it, but stopped, the sadness of his eyes perfectly matching the weather outside. He was Anakin Skywalker, one of the greatest Jedi Knights in history. But that changed. He had changed. Seduced by the Dark Side of the Force, he would become the most fearsome Sith Lord, Darth Vader. A creature that nearly destroyed everything she had fought for. His grief tyrannized millions and his rage destroyed even more. He had cared for no one, living only at the orders of his dark master and bringing the galaxy to its knees. Only the intervention of his offspring gave him the sole means of redemption. But the cost was beyond measure for him. In his lust for power, he betrayed the one person who meant more to him than life itself.

"_I'm so sorry…"_

Those words were hollow on his lips and they did nothing to express how he truly felt. A rumble of thunder was heard outside, a reflection of his feelings. It was strange, being a part of the Force. He could be everywhere and nowhere at the same time. He was light and shadow, all and none, knowledge and wisdom. Yet this never changed his true person and right now, he was a grieving husband and a tearing storm. Lowering his head, his hand dropped away from the coffin and he turned to walk out. Phasing through the door, he stood amidst the rain, head still lowered. Yet he was quite aware of the figure standing before him.

"_Master…"_

The elderly figure of Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in front of him within the storm. Ghastly like his former apprentice and united with the Force as well, Kenobi was a figure of perfect calm, despite the storm. Perhaps it was his presence that made the rain lighter that what Skywalker felt right now. Obi-Wan Kenobi, a revered Jedi Knight, even in this time period, and the one-time master and friend of Anakin Skywalker before his transition into Darth Vader.

_"You really do not need to call me that, Anakin."_

"_Call it a force of habit."_

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, trying to discern if he had just made a joke or not. But the rain continued steadily and Kenobi had to dismiss it as just a pun.

"_She never gave up on you."_

Anakin said nothing and the rain began to increase slightly. Kenobi felt his friend's state. Sadness was the prevalent emotion in Anakin and it was no surprise to Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan knew exactly how he felt. When Siri, a fellow Knight and love, died in his arms, he felt such pain that it nearly drove him to the Dark Side. He faced the same situation Anakin had and Kenobi had chosen to forsake their love for the greater good, though remaining close friends. But her death was not easy. Even now, it was one of his darkest memories. But it was not the same as with Anakin. Anakin had embraced his love and the loss was more painful.

"_I know. Somehow…I've always known. But…I never understood why."_

"_See you for what you truly are, they have."_

A third figure materialized aside of Anakin and Obi-Wan, that being of the wizened Jedi Master, Yoda. The elder master simply sat in the wet grass amid the rain, looking up at the two taller Jedi before him. Anakin turned his head away from Yoda, feeling great regret being in his presence. Because of him, the Jedi were almost completely exterminated. Yoda knew this, yet there was no resentment. If anything, Yoda would blame himself for what happened. Despite the centuries of teaching and training Jedi, he had not prepared them for the revenge that the Sith would bring about upon them, nor had he seen that a new way would be needed for the Knights to continue to survive. A way revealed to him by his latest master. Qui-Gon Jinn…

"_Way of the heart, mysterious it is. More mysterious than the Force, it may be."_

Obi-Wan back over at Anakin, who had turned his head slightly. But the rain continued to pour on and Yoda lowered his head sadly. Though each one of them was able to ascend by relinquishing all sense of self, these emotions and feelings were still a part of them. It seemed contradictory, but they had still much to learn about the Force, in all its aspects.

"_I wanted to help her; wanted to save her."_ The rain became heavier and the thunder crackled loudly above. Continuing… _"Yet in the end, I cared more about myself, becoming stronger."_

"_Strong is the Dark Side."_ Yoda noted softly, remembering the strength and influence possessed by Emperor Palaptine/Darth Sidious. _"Strong and deceptive. Difficult to overcome, it is."_

"_And yet you overcame it."_

A fourth specter, Qui-Gon, appeared opposite of Yoda. The first of them to become one with the Force in such a manner, he taught Yoda and Obi-Wan how to follow suit. Anakin, due to his own physiology and his last moment of release, joined them afterward. Before that time, Qui-Gon had been able to watch events unfold from the nether realm of the Force and sometimes was able to express himself to others through it. But it wasn't until later that he was able to appear before them physically, first to Yoda on the asteroid base and then to Obi-Wan on his exile on Tatoonie. Anakin looked at him, feeling a slight sense of relief upon seeing the man who brought him out of the desert world to become a Jedi, but was killed before he could train him and leaving that to his apprentice, Obi-Wan.

"_Qui-Gon…"_ Anakin was at a loss for words and simply remained quiet.

"_Padme believed in you. Luke believed in you. The fact that you are here with us shows that that faith was justified."_

Anakin remained silent as they storm conveyed his feelings. Qui-Gon remained silent as well, letting the youth center his thoughts. He knew how turbulent it was to reflect on the death of a loved one. When his own love, Tahl, had died, Qui-Gon almost lost control and nearly turned to the Dark Side himself. But it was Tahl's voice through the vergence of the Force that stopped him from going too far. Now he was forever bonded with her as well as all living things through the Force. Anakin needed to see that he could do the same with Padme, though not totally in the same way.

"_There's still good in him."_

This came from Obi-Wan and at it, Anakin lifted his head ever so slightly as he continued.

"_I know. I can feel it." _Looking at his friend's eyes, he nodded. _"Those were her final words. They were about you."_

"_Really?"_ Anakin didn't really need to ask. As they were all connected, Anakin can sense the truth in his former master. Besides, Obi-Wan had always been honest with him, always truthful. He had just never realized it until now. Perhaps if he had, things would not have happened the way they had. He then noted something else.

"_Luke…said the same thing."_ Memories of his final moments came to mind, aboard the second Death Star where he saw his son for the first time with his own eyes. Despite the threats, despite severing his hand, despite nearly killing him on several occasions, his son never gave up on him. He just didn't see how he could be that way or why.

"_Let go of pain, you must."_ Yoda reasoned. _"Exist in you always, it will. But allow it to cause you suffering, you should not."_

Qui-Gon agreed. _"He's right. Padme would not want you this way, would she?"_

The answer was obvious. She would not. Even her last words were of good to him, despite the fact that his actions had broken her heart. She loved him and did everything she could to help him and try to save him.

"_Brought balance to the Force, you have."_ Yoda spoke. _"The Chosen One, you are. Given hope to the galaxy, you have. Honor her memory now, you must."_

'_Honor…her memory…'_ Those words clicked in him like a flash of light and the rain began to lessen a bit. A determined look crossed his face and he turned back to look at his teachers.

"I will heed your words, masters." he bowed briefly. "But for now, I just wish to be alone."

The three elder Jed returned the gesture and began to fade away one by one, with Obi-Wan being the last. But before he vanished, he echoed out a few more words.

"_We will go. But you will never be alone anymore."_

Anakin blinked as his master disappeared fully. It wasn't like Obi-Wan to be cryptic. Looking back at the mausoleum, he re-approached and entered inside once again. The coffin was still there, silent and gloomy, a reminder of all that he had done. He stood before it once again and lifted his hand up. But he just couldn't find the strength he needed to touch it. He felt…so unworthy.

"_You were always strong, Padme."_ he whispered. _"Stronger than me."_

_Oh, Ani…_

Anakin's head suddenly snapped upward. _What was that? Was that…really her voice?_ He didn't sense anyone else, but the voice had been sharp in his mind. _'Padme?'_ His hand began to inch further toward the coffin, but it didn't feel like it was by his doing. It was almost as if he was being…pulled? His shimmering hand finally touched the coffin and he was surprised to find that it wasn't hard or cold. On the contrary, it was quite warm and gentle. It didn't make sense, but at the same time it did.

_Padme…_

It had been such along time since Anakin had felt this warmth. His hand began to caress around it lightly and the storm outside began to subside. Anakin knew who it was; the gentle soothing presence could belong to one person. It was then that he understood, truly understood, what it was to be a part of the Force. This was why the Jedi used that last line in their creed.

_There is no death; there is the Force…_

A smile came over the young specter's features as the sunlight creaked through the clouds outside and with it, a sense of purpose and light. He was part of the Force now. He could be of help to others now, more than before, just as he had when he was a child. He had children, still alive out there, working to restore peace throughout the galaxy as he once had. Hi hand grazed over the coffin on final time and he began to fade away. But before he vanished completely, he made one solemn promise to his beloved.

"_I will watch over them now. Sleep well, my Padme…"_


End file.
